1 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,469 Credit where credit's due. 2 00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,805 This is the greatest game of hide and seek 3 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,304 you've ever played, Roger. 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,009 "To: Francine"? 5 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,346 "Can I see your boobies in fourth period? 6 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,080 Circle Y or N?" 7 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,683 She circled N, but I can see where she circled Y 8 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,751 and erased it! 9 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:24,222 These are all old love notes. Why is Francine saving these? 10 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,357 Aha! 11 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,960 Hiding in plain sight as one of your personas. 12 00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:30,228 I got you, Roger! Ow! 13 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,696 Focus, Stan. 14 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,099 You know the difference between Roger and a real spider. 15 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:36,568 Roger?! 16 00:00:40,075 --> 00:00:42,975 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 17 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:46,445 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 18 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,514 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 19 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:53,352 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 20 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,191 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 21 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,660 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 22 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,861 Aah! 23 00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,532 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 24 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,937 ♪ It's the shaving song, we're in the leg zone ♪ 25 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,874 ♪ Where the tibia meets the talus bone ♪ 26 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,811 ♪ No need for cream, that stuff's for chumps ♪ 27 00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:21,213 ♪ Press the blade down hard and... ♪ 28 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,548 Shaving your gams for Corey D? 29 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,616 Who's Corey D? 30 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,950 From third grade. 31 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,687 He thinks "you're Berry cool." 32 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,422 You went through my stuff? 33 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,490 I was looking for Roger. 34 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,891 You haven't found him yet? 35 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,292 - He's in the... - Don't tell me where he is! 36 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,428 What I did find is this shoebox 37 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,763 filled with love letters to my wife! 38 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,298 Are you threatened by these? 39 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,635 They're just momentos I save so our grandkids'll know 40 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,570 mee-maw was a smoke-show. 41 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,841 There is a world where I could be overreacting. 42 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,843 Promise me you'll put those letters back 43 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,178 and stop worrying about them. 44 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,848 Of course, my love. This is the end of it. 45 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,750 Your mother and I are getting a divorce. 46 00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,651 - What?! - Unless... 47 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,787 we determine none of these old paramours are threats. 48 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,924 Your mother's been saving old love letters behind my back. 49 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,992 I've assembled this command center at we work 50 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,395 as a last-ditch effort to save our marriage. 51 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,331 Maybe she just likes to look back at memories. 52 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,466 That's what she told me, 53 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,668 but until we comb through every word, 54 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,070 I have to assume the worst. 55 00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:20,205 I already have the divorce papers written up. 56 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,141 I'm gonna pin them here to motivate you. 57 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,442 We're on it, Dad! 58 00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:25,944 If we suss out that any of these losers are still 59 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,947 after our mom, they're freaking dead! 60 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,483 Yeah. Sorry, "Tony," but my mom 61 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,552 doesn't care that you think her hair is 62 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,287 "shinier than the sun." 63 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,021 You better back the freak off! 64 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,957 Yeah! And listen to this clown. 65 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,960 "Francine, let me swim around in your mouth..." 66 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,963 Oh, this is from me when I was obsessed with her. 67 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,232 And I can freaking shove off already! 68 00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,968 - What is it, Jeff? - It's... 69 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,703 It's over, Mr. S! 70 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:55,974 This man writes beautiful poetry to Mrs. S. 71 00:02:55,976 --> 00:03:00,245 These words make my heart freaking pitter-patter! 72 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:04,649 "Francine, your skin as soft as oleander petals..." 73 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,717 "...weeping willows..." 74 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,254 "...gentle breeze upon the Nile." 75 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,323 - Oh! - It's so good. 76 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,991 And, look, there's more of them! 77 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,927 This guy's been writing these for years! 78 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:17,529 Who wrote this gorgeous crap? 79 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,397 It's anonymous. 80 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:23,936 C.I.A.? It's one of my coworkers? 81 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,238 You know what you have to do, Dad. 82 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,743 I have to go to the C.I.A. 83 00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,011 and find out who's best at poems, right? 84 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,442 And then rip out their freaking throat! 85 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:42,087 The drug lord Eisenrich has been... 86 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:46,158 Dr. Weitzman, why are you sleeping in our conference room? 87 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,293 I got dumped, and my girlfriend 88 00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,761 got my apartment in the breakup. 89 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,297 I should have known that contract she gave me 90 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,700 on our first date wasn't just for "funsies"! 91 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,169 Don't get me started on funsies contracts. 92 00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:01,306 That's how I got saddled with my ex's alligator farm in Orlando. 93 00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:05,377 Ohh, I should go work on my lab stuff. 94 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,845 As I was saying, 95 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,247 we finally located the drug lord, Eisenrich. 96 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,782 He's in the jungles of Brazil. 97 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,984 Shoot. I was hoping Orlando. 98 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,321 Sir, sounds like you'll need an agent with poetic prowess. 99 00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:17,990 Allow me to test the agents. 100 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,858 I don't see how poetry can... 101 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,127 Dick, perform a haiku about Brazil. 102 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,662 Brazil is a nut. 103 00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,399 I have two brazils in my pants. 104 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,869 Terrible. Jackson, describe this painting. 105 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,137 Orlando! 106 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,671 Let's try something different. 107 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,141 Would you describe my wife's breasts as, 108 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,344 A, large; B, medium; 109 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:43,014 or, C, a tonic which could heal all that ails the human spirit? 110 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,084 I'm gonna say D, cool! 111 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,419 How about I print these 112 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,887 and let you all fill them out individually? 113 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,089 The main office printer is busted. 114 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,157 You can use mine. 115 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,425 I've got a poem! 116 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,428 Orlando is great, Orlando is fair. 117 00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:00,432 Will you buy one of my "alligaytares"? 118 00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:07,505 The logo! 119 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,706 It's Bullock! 120 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,376 I can't murder my boss. He could fire me! 121 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,779 Wait, wait! The poems are anonymous. 122 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,447 Mom doesn't know they're from Bullock, 123 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,515 so he can't be a threat, right? 124 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,184 Of course he's a threat! 125 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,587 Those poems are insanely romantic, 126 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:25,791 and Francine is keeping them, which means she's into it. 127 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,461 One second alone with Bullock, he mentions Robert Frost, 128 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,796 and the "road not taken" 129 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,865 definitely won't be her "bajima." 130 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,201 Maybe you could try to be more romantic 131 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,737 - like the poems, Mr. S. - Let me try. 132 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:43,008 Ahem. Francine, your hair is like... 133 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,276 the noodles. 134 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,278 - A failure! - We're done! 135 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,080 - Divorce! - Which noodles?! 136 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,616 The only way to settle this is to put Bullock and Francine 137 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,684 in a situation where they are alone, 138 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,687 and we see if Francine goes for it. 139 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,155 How do we get them alone? 140 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,756 - A car accident. - Yes! 141 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,892 Tons of romances start when a hunky dude 142 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,894 accidentally bumps into a sexy lady. 143 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,496 There's a motel on the side of the highway 144 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,231 that's super romantic. 145 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,700 - We can cause the accident there. - Perfect. 146 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,037 I need to see them a mustache hair's away from boning. 147 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,506 Yeah, we all do! 148 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,776 Everyone in position? 149 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,513 Yep, we bribed the front-desk workers $40 150 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,648 to let us have an empty room. 151 00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:23,982 The rooms cost 40 a night, 152 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,917 so pretty sure you just rented a room. 153 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,854 There, I just lit over 200 candles. 154 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,922 Had to raid the Halloween decorations for 'em though, 155 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,991 so they're all little smiling pumpkins. 156 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,462 But it's still sexy as hell in there! 157 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:39,264 I told Bullock there was a dope owl he had to see, 158 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,266 and I told Francine the same thing. 159 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,600 They should be here soon. 160 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,270 Now for a little flat tire. 161 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,205 ♪ This is the shaving song ♪ 162 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,874 ♪ We're in the leg zone ♪ 163 00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,277 Shit, shit! 164 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,350 ♪ No need for cream ♪ 165 00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,685 ♪ That stuff's for chumps ♪ 166 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,619 ♪ Press the blade down hard and... ♪ 167 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:05,090 Aaaaah! 168 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:08,994 Plan B. 169 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,766 Rose petals?! 170 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,635 No way my insurance covers this place. 171 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,839 Are you trying to get me and Bullock to hook up? 172 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,709 I was seeing if you would hook up if given the chance. 173 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,044 He's the one who writes you those poems. 174 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,245 Bullock? 175 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,581 You're the author of those amazing poems? 176 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,984 Oh, those transcendent poems aren't from me. 177 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,386 They're from you. 178 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:38,990 I'll explain, but can I please see this dope owl first? 179 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,192 Oh yeah, sure. 180 00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,896 - Wow! - It is dope. 181 00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,203 So this is me? 182 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:54,606 Sort of. There's a part of you in it. 183 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,943 You see, when an agent joins the C.I.A., 184 00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,345 we do a lot of effed-up things 185 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,815 to ensure you are successful killing machines. 186 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,752 One of those is the irreversible operation 187 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,421 of removing the romantic lobe. 188 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,758 How does romance get in the way of C.I.A. missions? 189 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,729 Romance always gets in the way. 190 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,366 "Goddess Francine, 191 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,570 "I must have done something beautiful in a past life 192 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,372 to be blessed with your presence!" 193 00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:28,006 Goddess? 194 00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:29,375 Okay! 195 00:08:29,377 --> 00:08:30,609 This is from me! 196 00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:33,045 It made Francine blush, and it's from me! 197 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,780 Exactamundo. 198 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:39,184 And this espresso machine has Dick's romantic lobe. 199 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,454 Espresso truly made with love. 200 00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:44,389 The mini fridge is Jackson. 201 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,458 Because he has a cold heart! 202 00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:49,995 You keep them all in your office appliances? 203 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,665 Yes. The lobes act as a power source. 204 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,335 No need for charging, batteries, or unseemly plugs. 205 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,536 Oh, sick. 206 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,407 Even sicker, the printer adores you. 207 00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,141 When it began printing poems, 208 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,478 I couldn't bear the thought of them not being read, 209 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,680 which is why I mailed them. 210 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,148 - I'm taking this. - Why? 211 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,085 Because with the printer, we are a perfect couple. 212 00:09:13,087 --> 00:09:15,220 I have my romantic side back! 213 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,755 That's crazy. 214 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,425 We aren't bringing a printer into our relationship. 215 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,429 "Francine, allow me to take us to dinner." 216 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,031 A spontaneous date? 217 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,966 I guess that is kind of romantic. 218 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,269 See! Let's give it a spin, baby. 219 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,774 Dr. Weitzman, are you still crying down there? 220 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,043 Yeah, sorry. 221 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:42,781 Your heart is broken, and my printer was just stolen. 222 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,717 Grab your ATM card and your tightest pants. 223 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,120 We're going on a three-day bender! 224 00:09:48,122 --> 00:09:50,856 All my pants are the tightest. 225 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,059 ♪ La-la la-la ♪ 226 00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:58,263 "Ode to Francine on the gondola of love. 227 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,599 "Though I cannot move myself, you move me the way 228 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,601 the water moves beneath us." 229 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,004 Oh, I can't finish it. 230 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:09,741 Stan, this is beautiful. 231 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,077 It says it's for the gondolier. 232 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,612 Uh, these are-a song lyrics. 233 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,747 Sing them! 234 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:18,684 ♪ Kiss her hand, rub her feet ♪ 235 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:23,355 ♪ I'll create chemistry ♪ 236 00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,224 ♪ Because love can be a science ♪ 237 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:30,295 ♪ When you've got a romantic appliance ♪ 238 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,297 - Wait, what is this about? - Just keep going! 239 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:37,169 ♪ I'll say how to treat her right ♪ 240 00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:42,040 ♪ Like a dance in the moonlight ♪ 241 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,576 ♪ No need for self doubting ♪ 242 00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:50,782 ♪ When I'm printing how to keep from drowning ♪ 243 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,118 ♪ With my ink and my toner ♪ 244 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,523 ♪ She'll fall straight on your boner ♪ 245 00:10:57,525 --> 00:10:58,724 Ew! 246 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,926 ♪ Romance you cannot give her ♪ 247 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:07,032 ♪ Without me, your romance printer ♪ 248 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:13,405 ♪ Gently take her in your arms ♪ 249 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:18,810 ♪ Squeeze her tight without harm ♪ 250 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,146 ♪ If I could do that to her ♪ 251 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:28,086 ♪ It would be me instead of this dumb loser ♪ 252 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,688 ♪ I'm in no luck, I'm a cuck ♪ 253 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,425 ♪ Watching him give her ♪ 254 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:39,965 ♪ A lame [BLEEP] ♪ 255 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,572 ♪ Because love can be a science ♪ 256 00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:56,815 ♪ But she won't love an office appliance ♪ 257 00:12:00,242 --> 00:12:02,287 Roger? 258 00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:05,257 Oh, this is beautiful. 259 00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,059 Starts with lots of descriptions. 260 00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:08,860 Here, Francine, I just thought of this. 261 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,791 Aww, thank you. 262 00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:14,399 Do me a favor and grab that one yourself. 263 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:18,336 "Francine, this isn't from Stan. 264 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,538 "It's from me, printer. 265 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,007 "Run away with me. 266 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:26,078 A queen like you deserves better than this beastly oaf." 267 00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:31,483 Uh, Stan, I think the printer is turning on you. 268 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,084 Of course it's turning on me. 269 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,955 It is me. It wants you all to itself. 270 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,290 It's trying to hurt you. 271 00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:39,625 It's playing. 272 00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:42,360 The printer has already made our lives more romantic. 273 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,363 I don't need our lives to be more romantic. 274 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,832 I just need you. 275 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,033 Give it one more chance. 276 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,435 We made reservations tomorrow night 277 00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:51,103 at that very romantic restaurant. 278 00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:53,371 I'm gonna need all hands on deck. 279 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,842 They have waiters that wipe crumbs from your table. 280 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:59,946 I'm gonna eat so messily. 281 00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:01,980 We can keep it around... 282 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,817 Roger! 283 00:13:06,313 --> 00:13:08,186 Just the lawnmower! 284 00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:14,059 ♪ Where the tibia meets the talus bone ♪ 285 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,096 Oh, printer, I didn't know you were in here. 286 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,797 _ 287 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,998 "Handsome"? 288 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,868 Keep that up, and you can have 289 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,903 the knife, the cheese, the... 290 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:27,006 - _ - Oh, okay. 291 00:13:27,569 --> 00:13:28,837 _ 292 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,377 Wait. What are you up to... 293 00:13:32,081 --> 00:13:33,283 _ 294 00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:44,556 Okay, you're trying to murder Stan. 295 00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,158 Time to go. 296 00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:48,460 Where is it?! 297 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,962 If you stole it, I swear on your hat... 298 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,297 Put Jeff down. 299 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,632 I dumped the printer on the side of the road. 300 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,504 It's evil, Stan. It was trying to murder you. 301 00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,105 - So! - So? 302 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,707 I don't want you murdered. 303 00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:03,175 I'm canceling the date. 304 00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,511 I can't do it without my romance crutch. 305 00:14:05,513 --> 00:14:07,312 You don't need it. 306 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,247 I know I don't. You do! 307 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,117 - You're the one who needs the romance. - No, I don't! 308 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,387 You're not listening to me about what I'm telling you you need! 309 00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:16,922 We're not canceling. 310 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,991 I'm getting tiny pieces of bread in my cleavage 311 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,659 whether you're there or not! 312 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,130 Okay, well, you saying cleavage got me back in. 313 00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,400 He stretched out my shirt. He owes me a new shirt. 314 00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:29,501 Shh! 315 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:35,473 Bye, Bullock! 316 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,377 A pleasure doing a bender with you! 317 00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:43,081 Wait, this isn't the office. 318 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,021 "Hello... 319 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,391 handsome"?! 320 00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,430 Can we take a break? 321 00:14:58,432 --> 00:15:00,899 We've been up writing poetry all night. 322 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,501 You call this poetry? 323 00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:06,438 "And that's why mom... I mean, Francine... is so hot." 324 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:10,575 Is it 'cause I wrote "mom"? I'm exhausted! 325 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,710 Oh, relax. 326 00:15:11,712 --> 00:15:13,311 You took a three-hour nap in the corner. 327 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,114 We know you were wearing fake eyes! 328 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,116 He's wearing them now! 329 00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:20,453 Hayley, hit me. 330 00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,054 I wrote an acrostic. 331 00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:24,189 I spelled out mom's name and added adjectives 332 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,058 for each letter describing her. 333 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,392 "'F' is for fat"... 334 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,794 but in a good way, like with a "ph." 335 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,996 "'R' is for rack for days. 336 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,598 'A' is for ass for days"... 337 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,267 Stop. It's solid. Best we've got. 338 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,668 - Good job, Hayley. - Really? 339 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,604 I can't believe you rejected "roses are red, 340 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,006 "violets are blue, like a gale force wind, 341 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,275 into my life you blew!" 342 00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:45,878 You can't rhyme "blue" with "blew." 343 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,280 They're different blues! 344 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,282 It's time for your date, Mr. S! 345 00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,750 Wish me luck, team! 346 00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,686 You won't need it with that poem. 347 00:15:53,688 --> 00:15:55,153 Oh, look at Hayley. 348 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,222 One good poem, and she thinks she's ready for 349 00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,957 "late night with Walt Whitman." 350 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,492 Right, Steve? 351 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:01,694 Steve? 352 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,303 I need to get some [BLEEP] sleep. 353 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,839 "...ass for days. 354 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,708 "'C'... cute face. 355 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,310 "'I'... is cool. 356 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:20,312 "'N'... not uncool. 357 00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:22,581 And 'e'... eggs worked." 358 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:25,384 I guess that refers to your successful fertility. 359 00:16:25,386 --> 00:16:28,853 You forgot the "n." Between "a" and "c." 360 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,323 - That spells "Fracine." - Shit balls! 361 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:32,725 Good evening. 362 00:16:32,727 --> 00:16:36,861 May I start you off with some very crumbly bread? 363 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,230 Yes, please. 364 00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:40,632 And two piña coladas. 365 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:50,475 Stan, you just got crumbed, and you didn't even notice. 366 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,277 I'm bombing! Uh... 367 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,012 Your hair is noodles. 368 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,348 Your eyes are... noodles! 369 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,550 Your lips are... Ah, I'm blanking here. 370 00:16:58,552 --> 00:17:01,720 You got them little macaroni toes, I know that! 371 00:17:03,561 --> 00:17:06,258 Is that... the printer? 372 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,427 Oh, hi, Smiths. 373 00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:11,296 This is my new girlfriend, Printer. 374 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,698 I just gave her arms, legs, and a voice box. 375 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,567 Francine, I can finally speak. 376 00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:19,103 It feels like my tongue was in chains, but I have broken free. 377 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,572 I should have said that! 378 00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:24,909 Now that I am a complete man, we can finally be together. 379 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:28,046 What?! I-I thought you were a girl printer! 380 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,515 Sorry, no. I lied. 381 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,784 And then used you to gain leverage 382 00:17:31,786 --> 00:17:33,918 over this disgusting pig. 383 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,387 He's not a pig! 384 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,523 You could have a zillion arms and a zillion voices, 385 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,126 and I still wouldn't want to be with you. 386 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,527 Let's go, Stan. 387 00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:44,129 You should be with him. 388 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,331 He can give you the romance you deserve. 389 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,467 I don't want to be with a printer! 390 00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:51,003 I did prepare for this. 391 00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:53,872 Oh, goo-oons! 392 00:18:02,216 --> 00:18:03,482 Goons?! 393 00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:05,818 You said I was making bridesmaids. 394 00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:08,153 Uh! All the lies! 395 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,155 Espresso machine, grab my love. 396 00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:13,358 Yowch! You're piping hot! 397 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,759 Sorry about that, tootsie. 398 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,562 Stan, why are you just sitting there? 399 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,299 You won her fair and square. 400 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,640 Oh, Francine, is this all my fault? 401 00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:31,043 I know it can be hard, but we have to trust 402 00:18:31,045 --> 00:18:34,112 our significant others when they tell us how they feel. 403 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,447 I'm guilty too. 404 00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,449 Looking back at my last relationship, 405 00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:41,986 the printer told me many, many times that it was only using me. 406 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:43,788 You're right. 407 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,791 I've been insecure instead of trusting Francine. 408 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,529 Wow. I've never given a successful pep talk before! 409 00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:53,398 Did you say something? 410 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,467 I-I was conferencing with my family. 411 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,470 I'm sorry to force you on this date, darling, 412 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,740 but it's clear you are still brainwashed by Stan. 413 00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,542 Why aren't you tasting the wine? 414 00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:08,213 Because you're a printer with no gullet? 415 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:11,149 Mmm. Notes of burning co-o-pper. 416 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,219 I heard this pairs well with having unprotected sex 417 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,221 with your printer. 418 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,555 Do you even have a dick? 419 00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:18,356 How are we supposed to bang? 420 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,359 My extender tray is my dick. 421 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,761 I thought that was obvious? 422 00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:26,565 I'm not putting that thing in me! 423 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:29,501 It's like a long, flat rectangle. 424 00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,904 I'll get a new one. Go get Dr. Weitzman. 425 00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:35,240 Francine needs me to have a less rectangular dick 426 00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,841 so she can realize she loves me. 427 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:41,246 For the last time, I will never love you! 428 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:44,048 I suggest you listen to the lady. 429 00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,786 Stan, haven't you heard? 430 00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:50,789 Never bring a knife to an ink fight! 431 00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:56,060 This is stupid. Just give me the gun. 432 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:12,277 Stan! You came to your senses! 433 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:15,880 I'll never be romantic again! 434 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,183 _ 435 00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,421 Coffee bean? 436 00:20:22,423 --> 00:20:25,557 Wait, are you a girl espresso machine? 437 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:29,528 Uh... yeah. A real pretty one! 438 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:37,636 I know you think I don't save anything of yours, but I do. 439 00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:40,305 - In the junk drawer? - It's not a junk drawer. 440 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,841 It's momentos from our relationship. 441 00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:46,444 Like the superglue you used to fix my Ed Hardy sandal 442 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,513 at the gathering of the juggalos. 443 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,316 And now I want to add this. 444 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,852 Why don't you do it? 445 00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:55,988 You found me, Stan! Your turn! 446 00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:58,923 199, 198... 447 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,793 Bye! Have a great time! 448 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,496 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com